i know no one is gunna read this, so why not spill my heart out.
I don't have any friends. honestly. i really dont. Well of course i have david. he's always going to be my best friend. But after that, thats it. I wish i had more. Dont get me wrong. David is so much more than i ever expected in a boyfriend. hes compationate, loving, caring, honest and best of all, i can be a goof with him! It's great. I can be myself around him. But you know every girl needs that friend who they can go shopping with and giggle about silly girlie things. I dont have that anymore. For reasons that i see are pretty simple and i dont mind. What i do mind is that i dont have a friend whose a girl.
I have friends, but i dont ever get a chance to chill with em. no real bonding has ever really happened. i feel like i lack that part of me. I want a true best friend, one who understands the world in an open minded kind of way. One who speaks up about what they believe in, but that doesnt put others down. One who is sweet. It seems like im searching for a friggen lover but im not. I just want a real person. i look at girls at school and i sit there jealous of what they have. That chick whose like their sister, whos gunna be true and down with them for whatever. "a down ass chick" haha.
one chick at school showed me yesterday what her best friend got her. it was ring with two hearts that had their initials in it. i was so touched. it was such a sweet gesture of their friendship. it amazed me and got the green eyed jealously out of me. then i look at my sister. she knew her best friend since kindergarten. and they are now 23. they are so down for each other no matter what. i envy what she has. if my sister gets herself into a situation, her best friend is there for her every step of the way. never once have they ever gotten into a pety fight.
why dont i have that...it blows. but maybe in college i can find someone true to be my friend. do you have a best friend? do they turn their back on you? i bet they dont. because best friends wont ever do that to you. but watever.
whenever i hear someone say "oh my best friend.....blahblahblah" i get jealous. maybe one day soon i can say something great about my best friend. until then i will still be searching. this sucks.
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